Google Autocomplete is a great way to figure out what other people are thinking, so I put it to the test for social media sites.

Clearly, plenty of people think Twitter is for narcissistic personalities with lots of spare time.

The consensus seems to be that Facebook is for bragging and stalking.

MySpace doesn’t fare well either, not even a mention of musicians there, which it tried to focus on for years. It’s now like a post-apocalyptic website at this point that has been shamelessly looted and raided. Any website that changes your mouse into a twinkling star, etc. should be exiled anyway.

Now for a few of the massive online communities:

Reddit is apparently for the politically confused, hipsters, and the Jewish. The latter should be no surprise I guess given the popularity of the r/Hanukkah subreddit. Also, there is plenty of concern of it being down a lot.

Pinterest is clearly for women. Visiting the site looks like window shopping or a home decorating magazine, so this is probably not a surprise.

Tumblr is apparently for “derps” and emo kids.

Friendster and LiveJournal fare the worst, with Friendster mostly just being for “failures” and for sale. And possibly even worse, people are asking what LiveJournal is even used for.

At this point, I had to ask why even read:

Way to insult literacy, searchers. Reading is clearly for gaylords. In fact, reading is the gaylord-est thing since unsliced bread. Stop reading this page now, or your gaylord metamorphosis will be further hastened!

Why does everyone have to be so mean about social media users? Maybe, for example, MySpace is for persons of noble demeanor. Oh, yea, I guess that doesn’t make sense. I guess MySpace really is for cretins. Actually, what the heck is a cretin anyway? Aren’t those like onerous gnomes that hide under rural bridges and pickpocket passerby’s? Perhaps that would make sense about MySpace users, though. I always felt *some* sense of deviant sketchiness when I visited there.

This one really made me laugh:

Blogging is for benjamins. And since that’s what I’m doing here, I’m quite alright being a benjamin. In fact, *dons sunglasses* it’s all about the Benjamins, baby!*

*Since I sometimes sadly feel old on the Internets anymore with Generation Z everywhere now, I should probably go ahead and point out that’s an allusion to a 1997 single by Puff Daddy (now known as Diddy, formerly known as P. Diddy, and preceding that known as Puff Diddy P.), and featuring Biggie. However, it will still go over Gen Z’s head that these were times when you could wax your modem to make it go faster, back up your whole hard drive on a floppy diskette, and have your spreadsheets all printed out on your bedsheets. So, Ha.

Are you away from a charging plug and your iPhone is out of juice? Did you know you can charge an iPhone in the microwave?

30 seconds to give the iDevice’s battery a good jolt:

… and voila!! iPad charged:

For even faster charging, wrap your iDevice in aluminum foil:

Disclaimer: I should point out that using aluminum in the microwave could damage the microwave. So to minimize risk to your cooking appliance, try this trick by wrapping your Apple products in a wet paper towel first, or set the microwave to a low power level.

Further, in the unlikely event this trick does damage your Apple product, take comfort in knowing you can now visit an Apple store and buy the newer version, because you know you secretly couldn’t wait to anyway. This time, though, don’t forget to inscribe your nickname for $100 and maybe go ahead and get the $100 pink color ‘upgrade’. Plus it ‘flops more mega’ .. or something like that .. and seems shinier.

Apple – Think Different.. Or don’t.

A quote from the pioneer of ‘copyleft’: “Steve Jobs, the pioneer of the computer as a jail made cool, designed to sever fools from their freedom, has died. …

Unfortunately, [Jobs' malign influence on people's computing] continues despite his absence. We can only hope his successors, as they attempt to carry on his legacy, will be less effective. …

Jobs also made it a personal crusade to attack Android with software patents. In practice, Android is not entirely free software, but it is a big step closer compared with the iPhone. Jobs’ final legacy may be the patent disaster we have warned about for 20 years.” – Richard M Stallman, Free Software Foundation (Oct. 2011)

You might need an aspirin first if you want to read this all the way through, but it was bugging me that it was so easy to take the Level: level level meme to more iterations. This is all Level: level level is:

So, I bring you: Level: level level level:

In order to get to the next iteration, we’ll have to use level as a verb. Fortunately it is; it means to destruct or bring down, and will become the second level. So, Level(n): level(adj) level(adj) level(n) becomes Level(n): level(v) level(adj) level(adj) level(n), or more simply, Level: level level level level.

Next, by making a couple levels plural, we can make a proper complete sentence..
Level: level levels level level levels. Level(n): level(adj) levels(n) level(v) level(adj) levels(n). But I have to remove the last level since it doesn’t make a proper direct object at the end. So also, out goes the Mario background. The 8-bit clouds were still oddly appropriate, though.

That’s not it, either! The same can be done with level as with Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo.
It looks like Level levels level levels level level level levels. It’s the same as the buffalo construct when broken down: (Level(adj) levels(n)) [whom] (level(adj) levels(n)) level(v) [,] level(v) (level(adj) levels(n)). Yeah, you read that right. That picture would look like a chaotic war of level levels doing a lot of leveling though, so I’ll just leave it to your imagination. You /can/ imagine that, right?

So there you have it. Or as Ali G (who’s been stuck in my head today) might say, A-Boo-La-Ka-Sha.

But it still doesn’t end there. We can add a second relative clause too.

Level levels level levels level level level levels (level levels level).

Level can also be used as an adverb (obsolete), but means in a level, direct, or even way.

So all 3 verbs in the above get an adverb.

Level levels level levels level level(adv) level level(adv) level levels level levels level level(adv).

But, really, this can go on forever just because subordinate clauses can repeat.

Here’s an example sentence I wrote with repeating subordinate clauses.

Dogs that chase cats that hunt mice that eat bugs that like berries that need water chase cats that hunt mice that eat bugs that like berries that need water.

This will need to be rearranged in a way the preceding that’s can be optionally dropped:

Water that berries that bugs that mice that cats that dogs chase hunt eat need, nourishes.

I’ll speak the middle of that with two subordinate clauses to help make some sense.

In this arrangement, the that’s are optional.. so:

Water berries bugs mice cats dogs chase hunt eat need nourishes.

That sentence looks like it doesn’t even make sense, but it does; with some parenthesis, it’s a little clearer:

Water (berries (bugs (mice (cats (dogs chase) hunt) eat) need) nourishes.

Every one of those words can be replaced with level or buffalo. In the case of level..

Levels levels levels levels levels levels level level level level level.

You would probably have to buy drugs off Charlie Sheen or be a computer of sorts for that to start to make any sense, but it is indeed a crazy but valid sentence..

Thanks for reading.
img source: Wikipedia