I’m going to do something here that I advise anyone with a blog who gets screwed by a company to do, and that is call out any company that screws you over so potential customers know to avoid these companies. And countless companies are scams, but I don’t think I’ve ever been screwed so overtly by a company as MailboxForwarding.com. MailboxForwarding.com is a service like Earth Class Mail (which is also a scam, apparently) which will receive your physical mail and scan it so you can read it online, then they’ll shred or forward it to you (supposedly). There are a number of other companies like MyRVMail and VirtualPostMail which appear to be more legitimate, ethical companies, which I now wish I’d gone with.

My interaction with MailboxForwarding.com:
Myself (support tickets only, their phone # is blocked):
June x, 2010: Pay $199 for 12 months prepaid plan.
June x+2, 2010: Submit required Form 1583 to receive mail.
June x+5: No acknowledgement of receipt of Form.
June x+6, 9 am: Contact support, “Hi, have you receive my Form 1583, I sent it in several days ago.”
June x+6, 11 am: “Hello? Anyone there?”
June x+6, 1 pm: “Hello? Anyone there?”
June x+6, 3 pm: “Hello? Anyone there?”
June x+6, 5 pm: “Subject: Refund Request; Hello, I’d like to request a refund. I prepaid for 12 months service and have not used your service in anyway yet. I e-mailed a scanned 1583 form to you several days ago and you’ve shown no acknowledgement of it. I’ve been trying to get in touch with through your support system since this morning without response. This is unacceptable. I want my money back so I can find another service. Thank you.”

Customer Service response 12 hours later:
June x+6, 9:20 pm: “We haven’t gotten to your form yet, we’ll do it tomorrow.” “We cannot offer any refunds on fees already paid.”

Myself:
June x+6, 9:30 pm: “Yes, I would like to cancel my account, I do expect better support interaction. Please refund my 12 month prepaid credit card payment of $199 which I did not receive a single mail item under. Thank you.

> we cannot offer any refunds on fees already paid.

I sure hope you don’t mean that. If you do not refund my payment I will do two things which I assure you will cost you much more in the end. Reading that makes me furious.
I will, and I assure you:

1. File a complaint with the BBB. I’m familiar with the process as I’ve gone through it before.

2. Guess what, I also have a high traffic blog and will be sure to record this. Trust me when I say you don’t want to see “MailboxForwarding.com is a scam” as a top search result for “mailboxforwarding”.

Trust me when I say it’s in both our best interests to refund my money. This is no joke, and I’m very, very unhappy at this point.”

So, we’ll see if the twerps decide to return my 12 month prepayment (I’m not hopeful). In the meantime I’ll leave this review here as I’m sick of getting screwed. Additionally, MailboxForwarding.com is a scam an fraud in my book and absolutely not a company I would trust to have access to any of my mail whatsoever. They deceive potential customers by falsely trying to appear large and professional. My MailboxForwarding.com review: MailboxForwarding.com SUCKS. Stay away. Avoid MailboxForwarding.com. They’re quite content to take $200 and offer absolutely nothing in return. That’s theft and a scam in my book.

Update: After a run-around, they refunded my $200. Said it was “miscommunication” error on their part :/ Anyway, in fairness I’ve changed the title to simply ‘MaiboxForwarding.com SUCKS’.

I went with VirtualPostMail.com. They’re doing great so far.

untitled by Yoko d’Holbachie

2007 was very busy, and also the year I finished college (and started having panic attacks). 2008 was the year I spent writing software for and learning about the family business, and sort of figuring out a lot of personal things like what directions I sort of wanted to go in life. I became pesci-vegetarian (two years ago tomorrow), which was sort of a change. This was also the year I realized I was unabashedly gay and became addicted to the charms of competitive ballet. Nothing is more fabulous than a French Neoclassical. Ha just kidding, I’m not gay. I just wanted to startle family in case they’re quickly skimming this. Not that there’s anything wrong with being gay, I just prefer to monopolize body hair in a relationship. All in all though, 2008 was a fairly miserable and stressful year for me, not one I have the best memories of.

2009 was defined by work, and materialized into being the absolute hardest I’ve ever worked. I holed up for a lot of the year to develop my programming skills, and endured 8 months of misery with Java virtual machine quirks. So much so, that I told my friends I’d wished I’d done anything but. Hell, I told one friend I wish I thought Java was coffee and had spent all year learning Japanese instead. It’s also (unfortunately) harder to justify self-study than academic study despite the obvious reduced cost and, in my honest opinion, increased effectiveness. My degree, after all, was in economics and philosophy, not computer science, so I’ve been getting into territory I wasn’t *trained* for. Alas, I’m a bit skeptical of “higher education”, so Mark “I never let my schooling interfere with my education” Twain would probably be proud. Ultimately though, 2009 consisted mostly of efforts I’m not sure I’ll ever directly benefit from, although I did get damn lucky on an investment, which perhaps made a bit of indirect luck worth some of the year’s stress.

By the way, Sun (or Oracle? Or whoever owns what/where at this point), you’ve really got to fix some shit, and vastly improve documentation. Also wtf is with JavaSound? I’ve always wanted to say this in meaningful context, well, here I can: “KILL it with FIRE.” Yes, Java maintainers, you must kill the code with fire. Here’s how: print all JavaSound code out, drill 0 gauge holes through the hard drives that held it, and burn the printed code in a ritualistic ceremony. Then let’s all pretend JavaSound never existed and play with large parachutes, while holding hands in hippie-esque circles. I’ll bring the parachutes, and we can burn them too, just because.

Now it’s 2010. I realize I know myself now, what I want, and the avenues I can take to get there. I’ve also reluctantly accepted that my hopes for successful entrepreneurship will take another year, which, *sigh*, means I’ll be asking my family for support for one more year. So, two major immediate goals now: greatly reduce living expenses, and move towards a modern nomadic lifestyle. On the pertinent agenda now is to get rid of as much as I can. This means going through everything I own, and hopefully intelligently organizing it and reducing it to a small volume I can store conveniently. This also means preparing my home for rent, and you know this if you have a home, especially one not recently built, this can be kind of daunting. I still wish to hold on to the place for the long term, I just need to monetize it in the meantime. My first steps towards becoming nomadic have been carefully picking out a flashlight and pocketknife, and getting a Choice Hotels Visa card. I just need a portable laptop and a few other things. With a car, flashlight, pocketknife, and portable laptop, I’ll be a force to be reckoned with. From there, I can begin assembling the death star with my real father who likes to hang out at dockside bars. And, if you can make any sense of the preceding references, you’re my new best friend. Or my father, and I need to learn to play baseball.

So anyway, what I’ll be doing when I get everything in order is the next question. I’ve actually figured out a handful of viable ways to make money on the road, which has taken me two years, and will take another to implement because a: I have limited intelligence and b: internet business models are generally abstract and often guarded. It’s a lot easier to just get a regular job than it is to generate minimum wage off the internet. But, for me, the perks make it worth it, and yes, I’ve been thinking about this for two years, because I knew it was ultimately what I wanted. I’m getting sleepy now will finish when I awake. zzz. aaa. Okay, I’m back again. well sorta. Tuesday’s coming, did you bring your coat? I have a few options for making money online. I know I could build up to $20/day with adsense by the end of the year if I stayed dedicated to a certain website I haven’t launched yet. I’m certain I could get higher than that with paid writers because I’m bad about sticking with one task at a time. Those are “safe” ways to make money while mobile, but honestly not exactly fun. Churning out content mills is about as fun as managing insurance contracts. The most fun, or appealing, way to make money online is to run an infrastructure that generates its own content, either generatively/dynamically or through user input. But these are incredibly difficult to get going. The most surefire way to attract visitors is pure, ordinary, quality content.

The game I created, Space Danger, was designed to be run on an arcade machine. Everything in it is designed likewise. It’s fail-safe on Linux and automatic muting is built-in along with coin acknowledgement. The game can be started directly from a motherboard, and you’ll never know or see the operating system it’s being run off. Just like old arcades, it was designed to feel hardware-integrated. I also pseudo-designed a more sophisticated follow-up game which would feel like an odd remake of Robotron 2084, but never started on it. I had planned to start building arcade machines to house this pair of games, but even though the hardest part is done (the first game), the act of finishing the project into actual machines still feels daunting and without guarantee.

The prospect that seems most appealing to me at this point is, actually, and this again is a bit out there, visualization of audio content. This would involve taking Java2D or OpenGL and pairing it with OpenAL to create custom, mathematical visualizations of sound bites or music (think specially customized WinAmp visualizations). I’m inclined to think performing bands would at least be mildly interested in having visualizations of their music projected during play. This is something I could get going with a few months of dedication. I’ll admit the idea appeals to me. Of course, any visual DJ’ing would have to be done for free at first, but if it generated interest, I don’t see why it couldn’t be lucrative. Before I started college, I wanted to be an electronic musician building songs like Squarepusher, Venetian Snares, or the notorious Aphex. I’m too out of touch to go back into that, though. My ear is no longer trained to keys or chords, scores of meticulous drum patterns are long forgotten, I have hearing damage in one ear, I don’t even know where my bass guitar is, and tweaking synthesizers doesn’t have the appeal it once did. I still wish I put off college at the time to explore this avenue, but I don’t wish to revisit it at this point. Gotta move on. I will admit Reason is badass software if you like this sort of thing.

Main thing is that I need to minimize my living expenses so I can explore these options without as much stress burden. If I learned anything last year, it’s that stress doesn’t yield output, work yields output. Stress is only useful to the point it encourages output. I also haven’t been experiencing panic attacks like I did a couple years ago which freaking suck and are quite counterproductive, and I want to avoid them at all costs. And, I want to move towards a nomadic lifestyle as much as possible. This urge has been heavily compounded by the most miserable winter I’ve ever witnessed in DFW. Yesterday feels like the first time I’ve seen the sun in months. Now I just want to be able to pick up and go wherever if the weather is shit or I just want a change in scenery. So, first priority before I get into exploring mobile money-generation options is to just get prepared. Like a Boy Scout. This means seriously getting organized, getting minimalized, and understanding my mobile tools. From there, I’m hoping I’ll have some mental peace, and consequently the leverage to make my next move. Agility will be key.

Neo New York by Camilla d’Errico

So, an argument is defined as a logical construct consisting of a set of premises, or declared propositions, along with a declared conclusion. A deductive argument uses straightforward logic to assert that a conclusion is the logical consequence of these premises. When these premises are certain, the conclusion should follow with certainty. If there is a fault in the logical reasoning, there exists a fallacy, or a logical failure. Inductive arguments, on the other hand, can only suggest that conclusions are supported by their premises, which can result in generalizations for theory-building. Inductive reasoning is not deductively valid and is not formal, but informal, logic. It’s important to understand the differences between conclusions invalidated by fallacy, those proved with certainty, and those proved without certainty.

Strong and weak induction are the two types of inductive reasoning which lead to general, uncertain conclusions. If I say, “cats like to play with strings,” I’m not lying, but I’m not declaring that with 100% certainty, either. This is a strong inductively reasoned conclusion, and it forms a probable conclusion by simply inducing a universal generalization from the particular. If I say, “I know with certainty all cats like to play with strings,” then I’m being deceiving, even if I’ve never heard of a cat who didn’t like strings. If it’s only ever been observed that cats do like string (premise), then when I say, “cats like to play with string,” what I’m really saying is, “[all observed cats]…”. If you find a cat that hates strings, then I have to change that to, “[most cats]…”, which really means “[most observed cats]…”, because I still cannot say, “[with certainty, most cats]…”.

Weak induction, which makes a conclusion only possible from true premises, takes a specific observation to draw a general conclusion. This can be as ridiculous as saying, “stupid people cannot read, therefore all people who cannot read are stupid.” While the premise may be certain, there are plenty of reasons a highly intelligent person could not read. The logical connection of premise to conclusion here is false and the only certainty in the argument is that some illiterates are stupid. Of course, if the conclusion cannot be proven false, then it is actually possible all illiterates are stupid! Try disproving this weak conclusion: “rain is falling from the sky, therefore all rain falls from the sky.”

As inductive arguments, these arguments fail to “informal fallacy,” where the premises fail to support the proposed conclusion. Their merit is dependent on the inductive strength of the connection of premise to conclusion. Straightforward deductive arguments can also fail to informal fallacy if a premise is hidden or omitted. Along with informal fallacies are “formal fallacies,” which also affect both inductive and deductive arguments. These fallacies are always wrong because they are non sequiturs, or arguments with false logical structures in proving the conclusion from the premises.

A frequent type of formal fallacy is an ad hominem argument that attacks a person making a claim rather than the claim itself. An example of this would be to say, “Americans should not invade foreign countries, kill their leaders, and convert their citizens to Christianity, because that was a suggestion put forth by Ann Coulter, who is a batshit-crazy psychopath.” Even though it’s likely true that Ann Coulter is a batshit-crazy psychopath, you must counter the actual claim that America should invade every non-Christian country and mass murder their governments to avoid making a formal fallacy. Besides, stop being mean. Even though she frequently calls for ruthless genocides and shameless suppressions of freedoms, and unpredictably shakes and twitches violently while reciting incoherent Satanic chants, she’s probably a very loving, generous, and gentle soul at heart.

Additionally, arguments have or don’t have validity and soundness. Arguments which fail to logical fallacy are invalid, where the conclusion does not logically follow from the premises. However, because a valid argument could still have a false conclusion, soundness is used for clarification. A sound argument must have both A: True premises and B: A valid argument. The resulting conclusion of a sound argument is therefore always true. An explanation is the inverse of an argument, since it tries to determine the premises of why something is true. An argument, on the other hand, tries to show that something will be true based on premises and their resulting consequences. A look at frequently made fallacies warrants further investigation, which I will save for later!

Untitled by Buff Monster

Now that that’s out of the way, I don’t think it’s too difficult to argue we like to experience new things. What if every song on the radio were the same? Even worse, what if every measure was a repeat of the measure before it? Artistic repetition is along the lines of the concept an immortal astronaut stuck infinitely in space with only his own thoughts, a probably hellish experience. It’s creation, either scientific or artistic, which pushes life (and the economy) forward, providing new opportunities and ideas. Scientific pursuits are often fairly linear and involve the acquisition of knowledge through dedicated data accumulation and experimentation. Artistic creation, however, is less straightforward. I tried to craft a definition of art years ago, and while I don’t remember precisely, I know it was something along the lines of a creation which either resembles the perfection of a concept or deliberately enhances, distorts, or engulfs an observer’s reality.

Since the outpouring of the infinite trove of ideas is mere noise, the scientist must attempt to make sense of this data, and an artist must organize ideas in a fashion that creates an artistic construct. Science moves forward in a state of logic, blazing truths and falsehoods in its path, while art moves beyond logic and pushes easily beyond an observer’s capacity. The possible constructs of organized noise are endless, and by definition all their possibilities already exist. It’s only a matter of organizing these endless opportunities and promoting them into reality.

If you focus your energies on becoming a successful creator (or noise organizer?), boundaries neglect to exist, and the world acquires additional value with the gains of novel art or craft. If you focus your energy on rehashing existing creations without adding new technology or experiences, you may feed off the interest of that which you’re emulating, but it’s ultimately a very limiting strategy. Instead, drive for perfection, or artistic complexity, in your own unique pursuits. You’re rarely going to beat someone at their own game, and there is rarely a need to. Besides, nobody is playing the same game or even has the same goals. The thirst for fresh experiences is insatiable, and the creative vacancies waiting to be filled are limitless. Instead of competing, add to the world and fill in these vacancies!

Eclectic art magazines are flooded with new ideas on every page. Every new artistic exploration of a juxtaposition or manufactured reality is inherently interesting as long as it’s not self-contradicting, which can be a feat in itself. If you keep exploring and creating, fascinating results are virtually guaranteed, and the world becomes a more interesting and enjoyable place.

Now what’s unavoidably on my mind is the unshakable relationship between flow and output. Output is easy if you’re in a state of flow. If someone cannot output, s/he cannot provide value because there is no product for a consumer to derive value from. Quality output -> value -> consumer interest -> financial capital. In short, the value of an unhindered flow should not be underestimated. So, what are some of these phenomena, or horizontal hindrances, which impede the vertical output we need so much, and how do we curtail some of them before they materialize into real distractions?

Piccola Necrofilaia by Gabriels

The most obvious disturbances are the minor stimuli in our immediate environment which most readily call for our attention. This could be something as simple as a drop of coffee spilled on a desk, a car’s headlights on a street, or crickets creating their own cricket reality right outside of a window. If your concentration and short-term memory are good, these stimuli should hardly phase you. If a telemarketer makes a call, it’s a bit more distracting, but it does not necessitate conscious attention. But, oh no, now a friend is calling! You probably wish to talk to him/her, there’s probably an interesting conversation awaiting, and you both want to talk and make the interaction the main focus. One option is to not answer, and return the phone call as soon as you’ve organized your most pressing thoughts. You can finish writing the paragraph you have floating around in broken mental pieces, or if you’re a programmer, you can first finish figuring out the repercussions of passing a public variable through a function you’re trying to incorporate before returning the call. The hopeful result is the call will feel like a refreshing break instead of a distraction that demands attention. We’re designed to feel in tune with our environment, and distractions are healthy when they don’t distract.

Other thought disturbances are less apparent, particularly those of a public or social nature which are more difficult to control. I believe Google did a substantial amount of research for the Googleplex and its offices focused on creating ideal work environments to maximize output and minimize distractions. Some of the results were recommendations to carefully manage colors in the environment, promote work space personalization and social relations, and avoid having foot traffic move behind anyone as they worked. This resulted in a colorfully creative and stimulating environment and an office setting which encouraged employees to face towards gathering spaces instead of the common trend of facing into walls. The focus on an efficient work space was well worth its research sticker, as Google’s top engineers provide millions of dollars of value to the company each year. If these human capital assets lose 5% of their focus, the output stream that has created the Google machine faces a real setback. It’s only logical to optimize as many objective environment details as possible before the law of diminishing returns sets in, which, in Google’s case is very, very high.

The most obvious distraction of all is that we’re biological creatures. We need food, sleep, and cellular metabolism to function, let alone exist. These are are greatest limitations of all. I have limited mental capacity, as my brain is biologically limited, and physical requirements simply take priority. If I didn’t have to eat, sleep, or even move and never lost mental clarity, I would be able constantly process input and output streams non-stop. That could be a state of mental nirvana, but it doesn’t manifest in our biological realm. Since our thinking operates off our brain and blood, it makes sense to keep that cardiovascular system healthy. I personally think a lot of this is tied to the human insulin system, and good insulin regulation is not only key to avoiding diabetes, but also to mental clarity. So, if you want to think effectively, take disciplined action to keep your insulin response healthy. Avoid any known risk of diabetes, such as high intake of sugary, high-glycemic foods, poor sleep, and inactivity. Two dietary sources known to prevent insulin resistance, and therefore support healthy insulin responses are actually coffee and alcohol. Try consuming coffee in upon waking and moderate alcohol later in that waking cycle.

For concentration, is your environment healthy, and does it prevent worry and induce creativity? Is the weather miserable or are you indoors all day? This is an aspect of where I live, North Texas, which I don’t like. Summers days here exceed 100 F frequently, and winters can be brutal. Homes here are large, often don’t have a gas line, and are built for Texas heat and often status. 40F on winter day is often less tolerable than 20F in areas further north which aren’t immersed in the humidity off the Gulf of Mexico. The low teens are painful, and for December and January of every year, the weather is unavoidably miserable. Some days have non-stop downpours of seemingly spiteful rain, and summers can span months on a few rain drops. Air often blurs like ripples through a pond on days which can be so hot and dry. A gem I stumbled upon in Wikipedia while reading about rainforests, was that the central region of the US experiences seasonal temperature shifts like no other region in the world. Unfortunately, this isn’t the most conducive environment for creativity, so I hope to travel more to offset some of what I perceive as geographical impediments.

External criticism and a need for self-reassurance are some of the most common impediments to a healthy output. I attach this to personal ego. Males often value themselves by their work and females are often sensitive and concerned with social approval. A failed entrepreneurial attempt can hurt anyone’s ego to the extent they avoid taking risks despite when smart management of these risks and perseverance can pave the road to substantial success. It’s hard to detach from the approval/disapproval system that’s been deeply ingrained in a social species throughout its evolution. Our drive for social approval feedback dates to the days we lived in tribes and had to be very careful about not upsetting a natural order. Consequently, fear of a negative feedback loop alters decisions which would have otherwise been made on clear judgment too often. On the other hand, a need for acceptance can induce financial impulsiveness.

Entrepreneurship author Seth Godin reflected in his blog yesterday that people are astounded when “someone shows up and acts without contradiction … When an athlete just does the sport, or when a writer just writes the words, we can’t help but watch, astonished at the purity of their actions. Why is it so difficult to do what we say we’re going to do.” When I read this, one of the first things that came to mind was actually Li’l Wayne. His output is substantial and he seems to have no self-doubt, stays dedicated, and shirks distraction. Now he’s in half the songs on the radio and has an enormous interlinking of other artists he artistically and financially collaborates with. He’s an example of someone who’s created an empire that was available to anyone with the capacity to take on. But, then again, Li’l Wayne might not be the best example of avoiding distraction; a few felony charges probably don’t make the best productivity enhancement.

The tropical zone, being near the equator, isn’t associated with the temperate seasons of spring through winter, with summer and winter differences being very small. Because Earth rotates on a tilted axis, every location on Earth experiences temperature seasons, but the poles experience them the most drastically. Days and nights are both 12 hours year-round at the equator, which the sun hits directly semiannually in the spring and autumn equinox, while the sun is only directly overhead the rest of the tropics once a year. Visual. Temperatures are high year round, so the only ’seasons’ are dry and wet due to the nature of the Earth’s oscillating tropical rain belt. Sounds great, right? Well, the human population seems to do well in this tropical zone as 40% of the world’s population lives there, and that percentage is estimated to be 60% by 2060. ¹

Okay, so which one(s) should you visit? Well, first a map of the world’s tropical rainforests:

Tropical Rainforests

As can be seen, there are heavy concentrations in northern and eastern Brazil, Central America, Central Africa and Madagascar, and in and around Southeast Asia. Even visually, these ecosystems are quite unique.

Northern Australia:

Amazon in Brazil:

Costa Rica:

Malaysia:

Temperate rainforest in Washington state for comparison:

Which one you should visit first will depend on a wide variety of factors such as interests, proximity, safety, wilderness ability, expense, and access. In the coming days, I’m going to look into some of the options and pros and cons of visiting each of these, because I’m determined to get to one of them myself before too long.

This is great video of Wired Editor Kevin Kelly’s TED speech on the future of the digital integration in our reality. Good stuff:

These are a few enlightening thoughts from game developer Will Wright:

A daisy, a catastrophe. Have you ever seen a squirrel eat corn? They love it, they munch it, it’s tasty. A flower in the sky, Why does it share a pie? A what, a flower. Why monkey, do you need no grass? It has a face, a cat, each day. It’s my friend, it has no wind. A what, a cow, have you ever seen it through? A pickle in my hand. A frisbee in the wind, what it goes there like a bus. Oranges yay, why up there may I so might. A good flight up in the air with boomerangs, planes, cats, and kittens. I have socks, a monkey gay, wishes, flying cats, flaps cracks in a bird, and a bird with crack. Why do flowers have windows? I saw a cat on the roof. It has two shoes, I think it lost its other two. Flippers, donkeys, and squirrels for lunch. A taco, beef, a steak, a light. Sunlight, flight, shoes, my hand is in the sand. What 4 why 4 if only 3 i mean don’t eight. Happy clocks. Lying on the beach with flies. Leprechaun, leprechauns, they’re not for rent. Hey do you keep eating roots? They’re not for you, they eat the squirrels. Have what a beat? A flow, bomb, bong, song, wrong, hong, dong, kong, long. HA! I ate a rainbow. It ate the plane, a squirrel with a cat, it likes the mink. No don’t share a wink. No no no! don’t smoke or dash, with wine I dine. French I speak, with sassy stew. A fly no cash to sue!

Season's Change by Greg Simkins

Keep it off the flower, it doesn’t share its dirt for free. It’s not fair and not with soup! SOUP! FLUTES! Fuck yea, a goose. Monkeys on the roof fuck them they don’t have to loot. My socks are red. Fuck green, it’s gay. I like my socks, they’re made of whey. The leaf is green it has a dot, it’s not of ink. An ant it eats. The leaf engulfs the ant, my friend. It has no teeth, and here I freak, because it has the ant to eat. Ha! A dolphin flies. It has no coat, I think I see it has a hat. The hat is new, and orange, a truly clever cat. It has a friend with me asap.
Don’t share your fruit with a moose, they don’t like lemon juice. In the sky, why acorns? Don’t think this week, it’s not for use. If squirrels shake hands, have they made a deal? When did you last enjoy some celery? Was it spiced and flavored with rice and mice. Keep the maggots out of the vegetables, they’re best in the stew. Hats are kosher, they fit a Jew. A dainty, a bounty, a hipster with brew. Flying in the air is not like tin cans. When did Oscar eat Ernie? Have you ever seen Oscar drink juice? Why don’t donkeys and caribou get along? What if they shook hands and shared a nice brew? If lions, and tigers, and bears, oh my, had a date with a shrew, would the shrew share some Elmer’s glue? If gooses eat socks, do they like ice cream too? Why do lions chase houses? I don’t think it’s cool, they should have better things to do. This one time a lion chased after my house. My house was too slow and couldn’t keep up. It first got my garage, then got the rest of it too. Fuck yea, I got out, and my cat did too. Unfortunately, it did get the squirrels who play poker in my living room. I was pissed, my cat it cried, it was a sad day without an inside.
My cat liked to play gin with these squirrels, and it would usually win. Be careful playing games with squirrels, they don’t usually win, and they carry rabies too. My cat can’t get rabies, it was injected with a secret formula. Unfortunately, I can get rabies, so my cat told me to lose to the squirrels. This was good advice, because they are indeed very sore losers. I think their memory is bad. I got bored pretty quick, and invited them to have a smoke. We smoked rosemary, lemons, and pickles, and one squirrel then died. My squirrel friends were mad, so they would not share their igloo. It was too hot outside, so their igloo melted anyway, but I did not like the gesture, I figured it was rude. They were still cool squirrels regardless. My cat once lent one a pair of shoes. But now those squirrels are eaten, inside of a walrus. Wait it was a lion. How did a lion find my house? Some things I may never know.
Do lawn chairs speak English? I’ve seen a monkey that spoke English. Well, it wasn’t very clear English. His name was Curious George and he even became president of the United States. Who was Abraham Lincoln, why didn’t he wear pink shoes? What has four legs, a tail, and bites? MAMMALS! They fucking bite, so you should be careful. I bite, I fight, I smight, I write, I love to fly a kite. Kites don’t have wings, they have magic. Have you ever seen an elephant that likes to eat with chopsticks? They don’t have forks, or sporks, or knives, so hey it’s cool. What if cats had rights? Do you think they’d vote with good foresight? Friends, family, there are dishes to do. Why don’t we all just get a goose to do them? A kitchen goose is a silly sight. A goose that’s loose with a flute is not a good sight. Why does pepper eat rice? What the fuck, why does pepper eat rice? It tastes good, motherfucker, rice tastes good. I like rice. I like to treat it with spice. Nutmeg, yum. A delight on a rainy day.
Why do cats sometimes look for a fight. I have seen such a sight. I saw sunshine one day. I was out in the hay. Barrels of onions and rabbits that said yay.
Carry a lantern, it’s good for the night, for you might need extra sight. Farmland sits under the night. Chickens and donkeys never sit tight. Additionally, they do not wear tights. Never trust a goat in lingerie. Lingerie is for SHARKS. Fuck yea! A shark in a fishnet is an unpleasant sight. Why does wind blow? Where is my kite? Do you enjoy sunny daylight? HA! Tacos. Don’t go to Waco. The roof is on fire. Don’t get any water, it’s best if it burns. Burn roof, burn. This party is tight. DJ, can you play something gay? Safety Dance, let’s dance through the day. My cat is scared of sharks. Don’t let them into my house. They will try to trick you. One time, one told me it was a dolphin, and it just wanted to lounge in my swimming pool. I let it in, and we shared a margarita. It was a lot of fun, until I realized I had been tricked! I told him, that I do not share my house with sharks that I’ve been tricked before. He said he was sad but understood. I gave him a few dollars to grab a sandwich at the local deli. I told him which one severed sharks, and he said it was cool. He called me later and said, “Hey, it’s Fred, the hammerhead you shared a drink with last night. I just wanted to say thanks, and I appreciate your courtesy.” HAAA! He was a cool shark though, and if ever there was a shark I would be friends with, it would be him. Does that make me a racist? But ya know, it’s cool to have at least one shark friend. One time I saw a group of sharks sharing cantaloupe in the sea. I asked them where they found the cantaloupe as I’d never seen any in the sea. They said they found them on a pirate ship. I said you stole from the pirates? They said they enjoyed the irony.
Have you even seen a billy goat sew clothes? They’re pretty good. They’re color blind, however, so make sure you label everything. You don’t want them to mix up your clothes, ya know. Why does sunshine fly through windows? Have you ever seen a lolcat? Word on the street is they like cheeseburgers. I can’t let them into my house then! Silly lolcats. This is why I prefer a regular cat. The cat discovered electricity. I discovered the airplane. Charles Darwin built the first airplane. Will Wright is a software developer. Do you sleep with a calculator? It’s a good idea; you might have to do math. I do, if only as a precaution. I never died in my sleep, but if I do, my calculator shall come with me. Why do geese eat tacos? Bonobos! There’s one on my chimney. Fuck yea, a bulldog’s on my roof. It’s sharing a cheeseburger with a lolcat. That’s not cool. My house must be kosher. Get it down. Get me an eagle. I want a bald one. Eat the bulldog. quick! We must sacrifice the cheeseburger. Where am I?
What has many rings and lives in the sky? Saturn does. HA! GEESE! I SEE THEM! CATCH THEM! Fuck yes! I love geese. Why can’t daisies and sunflowers get along? What if they played dominoes? Why not backgammon? Celery is abundant on Saturn! Sea creatures don’t eat hay, you silly little girl. Sunlight exhibits both the properties of waves and particles. I want to catch sunlight! I want to put it in a vase and put a cork in it. When I open the vase, all the sunlight will come out. Don’t let sand get in the vase. Only sunlight. Cactii don’t have brains, you know. Feet! I want to see one with feet. Can you catch a butterfly? They don’t taste like butter. They taste more like margarine. Have you ever shared tea with a giraffe? They don’t make very good conversationalists. The one I had tea with preferred Earl Gray. He was also a ninja and a raver. He asked me if I had any lsd. I said, silly giraffe, lsd is for kids. Do gators drink Gatorade? Cool aid is awesome.
I want to give a loaf of bread to a flamingo. He would probably be appreciative. But it would be a trick. I would throw him a loaf of bread while he had a fish. Then I would run at him as soon as I threw it, and steal his fish! HA! If the fish weren’t kosher, however, I would return it. It’s obviously inappropriate to steal fish which aren’t kosher. MOUNTAINS! Did you know they were formed from shifts in the tetonic plates? Do clocks go in reverse in the Southern Hemisphere? Blasphemy! Don’t tell me you did that! Never play dice with a black bear. Sometimes they’ll forget about the game and just eat you. I never found the lion that ate my house. I have found new squirrels to be friends with, however. WHY! WHY don’t I have a helicopter? I wish I could think of more uses for shoes. Have you ever seen a sock that had places for toes? They’re called toe socks. I call them parasocks. I want a parachute. Dolphins don’t eat grass. I always fry my vegetables with cheese, and I want the milkman to deliver my milk. Frosty sandwiches are the norm in igloos.
One time I gave a hippopotamus a sandwich and it barked at me. What kind of disrespect is that? I’m never giving a hippopotamus free food again. Squirrels are awesome. Sharks have too many teeth, they’re rather scary. It’s sad when animals die. They are my friends. Life is badass, really. The purpose of life seems to be only that of life itself. Every time I throw a boomerang, it never comes back. Mischief occurs in shades of yellow. It’s a really cool thing to share toothpaste with penguins. They usually give it back and have good manners. Bricks have parents too. They are called rocks. Don’t eat chalk. Talcum powder is probably worse. You may choke, so I would advise being careful. Never eat Christmas lights. They will electrocute you. Once I kissed a frog. It turned into a princess. I asked her if she liked jackhammers. She said she’d never used one, but would give one a try In that moment, our eyes connected, and everything felt so right. We decided to go jackhammering. We snuck around the city and jackhammered everywhere. Word on the street was that we had done millions of dollars in damage. City roads were torn up and chaos ensued. When dawn arose, she told me she had to go home to feed her squirrel. We planned to meet in secret at a later date.
Did you know that squares have four sides? No I did not! I thought they had three. I used to think triangles were squares and circles were octagons. Don’t give him the stick. Get him off my lawn. How did he get on my lawn anyway? I live in Antarctica. I bought an island offshore Antarctica, but nobody visits me since it’s too cold. Paradise, my ass. Some islands are cooler than others, I guess. I guess I shouldn’t have gone discount island shopping. Don’t do that! My cat doesn’t drink coffee, fool. Have you ever seen a goose that couldn’t swim? I don’t think he would live very long. Silver dollars are quite silvery. Mongoose! Where? At three o’clock, toss it a flashlight? Why a flashlight? Mongooses (wtf) don’t have good eyesight. Stop, don’t lose your coral. That was expensive.
Okay, i think I should stop now, that penguin challenged me to a new game of backgammon. What a cool penguin, he just lent me some shampoo. Bulldogs, fuck yea! A toast to a peregrine. What, why? Just don’t forget to have milk with your toast. Flamingos are at my door again. Oh no! They have books in their beaks. Mormon flamingos? Oh boy, I guess they want to talk. Don’t be so jaded. Oh, it’s okay, they just wanted to play cards. Silly birds.

Knowledge yields power.

When a person acquires knowledge, he gains power.

More power means greater ability for action.

Action is natural, and action follows the natural.

Love is inherent in the universe.¹

Therefore, more love in the world.

¹(I believe this, but will leave making an argument for this to a later time.)

Yes, the repercussions of Google censoring search results could result in them being banned or themselves entirely censored in China. However, this is a powerful gesture, and Google has the economic strength to possibly pull such a move. If China ceases access to Google entirely, it will be costly to China’s image. This could impede foreign investment which would impede their own aggressive pursuit of economic success. Entrepreneurs and developers want to invest in environments which are about to boom, which is stagnated in restricting or limiting environments. This creates a tough decision for China, and external awareness of the situation can also have a negative social impact, which again means economic repercussions.